Hi everyone, hope you're doing well! Hopefully the chaos of life didn't spin you too much lately.

(I like this animation I did of Knives from Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, so I'll drop it here so it's what people see when they check my profile!)

I'm working on a very little thing (like a small fake video game animation trailer thing), based on a friend's character.

Made a couple of things, including the sketches of the two little scenes, music and a test animation of my main character (based on my fish, Soda!).

Hope you peeps like it! I'm not really used to make stuff like this. Heck, it's the first song I try to make too lol.

EDIT:

And another short song I made for the project, maybe for the town part:

Trigger warnings (in text form): drowning, suicidal allusions, suicidal thoughts, self harm.



Since I’m 13, I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and what seems to be depression (undiagnosed). The need to kill myself is usually always present in the back of my mind, but manageable enough. Sadly, periodically, I’m drowned in a wave of depression that I can’t manage at all.

Since this month of May, I’ve been absent online as I was not mentally stable enough to allow myself any kind of trigger or surprise. It has been one of the hardest spikes of depression I ever got, and I even began to self harm again, something I haven’t done since I’m a teenager. I made plans, which is something that should raise all the red flags, and after isolating myself the most I could and letting time pass, I decided to give if another go, like I did before.

The sense of shame with this is deep, but at that point, I hate myself so much that I’m almost becoming numb to it. I want to stay alive to not destroy the lives of people around me I care about. It’s a very, very, very stupid martyrdom, but it feels like one.

I wanted to make a comic to exteriorize a bit how it feels. The first version was incredibly tacky. The second one was super cringey. This one is the toned down version, so hopefully it’s alright.

On a last note, if you are yourself living through internal chaos like this, be cautious. Don’t make plans, and if you do, force yourself in a safe place and get rid of everything dangerous around you. Don’t write suicide letters or anything akin to that. Tell people you know about it, even if you think you annoy them (worst case, even if you do: so what?). Try to convince yourself to get therapy (I’m still at that step myself). Don’t do it, as even if you are suffering, you will only scatter the suffering to others who care about you and want to see you happy and with them. Let time pass: after a week, a month, a year, you will feel better.

I know everything hurts, but you’ll manage. I managed it for 17 years, and I was only a kid.

I saw three praying mantises crawling in my dreams.

I'll take that as a bad omen.

So yeah, I'm gonna take a break of online, and art, and things. My mental state at the moment is rotting. My body breaks piece by piece. My hand, my teeth, my stomach. Even my memory is crumbling.

I'm going to have to pay for treatments and such, and it's gonna cost. I have the money, but I was trying my best to save for a house. A house that would allow me to get a dog.

Small dreams that feel oddly more and more impossible.

I don't know how short or how long it's gonna be. I'm not asking for money, or attention to be honest.

I'm just dropping this here to express a tiny bit of the little chaos inside, and also to explain why I just won't be posting much.

See ya later alligator

As we creep near the end of the year, it's time for #artvsartist2021!

This year, I got more comics (Wolf Hunter was born, and I got my most popular post ever with 80k likes on Twitter??), more DnD/Pathfinder characters, and apparently, more colors in general!

New year, new BIRTHᵈᵃʸ.

I'm getting old, jeez. One more year of survival. Good.

It's my birth.

Hep peeps! I’m active on a lot of places on the internet! If you have a favourite website, know that you can follow me there!

FACEBOOK : facebook.com/ZeTrystan
TUMBLR : zetrystan.tumblr.com
DEVIANTART : deviantart.com/zetrystan
NEWGROUNDS : zetrystan.newgrounds.com
TWITTER : twitter.com/SnailSyrup
INSTAGRAM : instagram.com/zetrystan
TAPAS : tapas.io/ZeTrystan
 

Well, funny thing, apparently I gif I made was a bit popular yesterday on facebook.

Huh. Well. Neat.

It changes nothing elsewhere, but it's always fun to know so many people saw a thing you made!

I want to make figurines of my Bromance characters.
But I don't know 3D.
Life is cruel.
I'm cry.

Every.

Night.